The Santa Phone

Like most parents, S and I spent the better part of the lead up to Christmas reminding T that she’d better behave or Santa wouldn’t bring her any gifts. She’s at the right age to understand Santa and what he does every year.

Being T, she asked how Santa would know if she was good or bad. I told her Mommies have a special phone that is a direct line to Santa to report any bad behaviour. That seemed to satisfy her.

That was until Christmas had come and gone. Post gift giving, she had a few moments when she wasn’t on her best behaviour. I told her if she didn't shape up, I would send her gifts back to Santa.

Of course, she asked how I would do that.

I told her I’d use my special phone to contact Santa, get a return mailing label and send it back to the North Pole (just like Amazon.com!). Okay that answered that, right? Not so much.

She then turned to my mom who was sitting next to her and asked Nan where she kept her phone. My mom looked at me rather perplexed, not sure what to say as she’d missed the previous discussion about gifts being returned.

I explained that T was referring to the Santa phone that mommies have to contact Santa. Again, T asked where Nan keeps her Santa. Nan, rather smartly, told T she couldn’t divulge its location. That answered that right? Not so much.

T then asked me again where I kept my phone. I told her my underwear drawer.

Where’s your underwear draw? She asked again.

I told her in my dresser but now that I had told her where it was I would have to move it.

And with that, that was effectively the end of that.